SAFB Budget Approval Process Involves Roulette Wheel

ROCHESTER, Mich. — The Student Activities Funding Board (SAFB) is well known on campus for financially supporting Student Organizations when they feel like it. Recently, however, the organization has found itself in hot water after many students lost the will to live while traversing the labyrinthian budget request form. Given the circumstances, the chair of SAFB agreed to down with the Grizzly Tales to explain the funding process from start to finish.

To begin with the SAFB chair explained that “The entire submission process is designed to deter students from participating in campus life as much as possible.” Further clarifying, “The trainings, form submissions, waivers…it is all there to keep students far away from funding.”

Then, for any persistent students who completes the submission protocol, the SAFB Chair takes pride in their “slow and unilateral judgements” through their trademarked 3 step approval process: First, SAFB checks to see if the organization is a club at OU and completed training. Second, SAFB spins the roulette wheel right round baby right round. Third, SAFB Checks the result: If it lands on Black, the request gets approved. If it lands on red, it gets DENIED. And if it lands on zero, then they set the money on fire. No matter the result, SAFB feels strongly that they are supporting student body through paying Chartwells for garbage.