Oakland University Praised for LGBTQ+ Positivity After Students Download Record Amount of Gay Porn
ROCHESTER, Mich. — An answer to a question you’ve never asked has been revealed. What…
A Diary of a Wimpy Grizz
It has come to light that Oakland university’s own Grizz has been in his free time writing fanfiction on the hit children’s book series Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He states that he started when he initially read one of the most popular fanfictions on the series, 25 Years Later, which serves as a possible…
Unknown Student Awarded for Unknown Achievement
We don’t know what they did, but it sure was something. A true campus leader.
SAFB Budget Approval Process Involves Roulette Wheel
ROCHESTER, Mich. — The Student Activities Funding Board (SAFB) is well known on campus for financially supporting Student Organizations when they feel like it. Recently, however, the organization has found itself in hot water after many students lost the will to live while traversing the labyrinthian budget request form. Given the circumstances, the chair of…
Oakland University Releases Statement Defending AI Data Centers
ROCHESTER, Mich. — After revealing plans to construct an AI data center on campus, Oakland University has been met with a large amount of controversy. Students have spoken out both for and against the data center. To show their clear stance on the matter, the University released this press release. It stated the following: “As…
Man Reads Oakland Post: What does he hope to find?
ROCHESTER, Mich. — While across the nation print news media has experienced declining readership, on Tuesday February 17th at 3pm in Dodge Hall, Rochester, Michigan, a man was found reading the Oakland Post campus newspaper. Many question this choice of reading material as nothing of substance has ever been found in the Oakland Post, with…
Grizz suspended after messaging student at 2am “U up?” on Valentine’s Day
Each year millions of Americans struggle with loneliness. Our beloved mascot shares this problem, but the administration does not care. Big Ora herself hath decreed that Grizz “stepped over the line” when he messaged a student on Valentine’s Day, but what was his crime? Chasing tail? Oakland University is required to allow free speech, if…
Computer Science Student “Loses Virginity” At WXOU Chrome Hearts
PONTIAC, Mich. — On Friday night, reports spread of a student losing his virginity at The Crofoot. Aaron Lusk, a Computer Science junior made this claim shortly after the end of WXOU’s Chrome Hearts event. “The floors were pretty sticky, but this will still be an experience that sticks with me for the rest of…
WXOU To Start Playing Good Music by 2032
ROCHESTER Mich. — In a recent press release, Oakland’s radio station WXOU announced a recent research initiative to discover music that is considered “good”. After lots of complaints pertaining to the station’s music taste, the station has decided to go into a new direction. WXOU’s General Manager shared that the station is very excited to…
EXCLUSIVE: Ora Becomes First Grizzly Tales Follower on Instagram
This is real. -The Grizzly Tales —— Be like Ora! Follow The Grizzly Tales on Instagram today! ——
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