ROCHESTER, Mich. — Oakland University on Friday, November 21, at 10pm UST (Universal Standard Time) closed to replace “heating pipes”, however, according to anonymous sources in the administration, the reason for this shutdown is to address the guttural screams of lovecrafting horrors emanating from beneath the Oakland Center. One administrator reported “We’ve been trying to be the first university to offer an education to horrors from the great beyond”. Unfortunately, following this program’s initial rollout, blood started oozing out of the floor, flooding the basement of the Oakland Center earlier this year. Leading OU to make efforts to quietly sunset the program. Many of the new students feel hurt by the administration’s change of heart and will be requiring additional human sacrifices to satiate their eternal hunger. Campus will reopen Monday, December 1st at 12pm Universal Standard Time. Students are disappointed.
Real Reason Behind the OU Shutdown Revealed
