Oakland University Athletics defends their players from their recent loss against Cleveland State. According to them, their student athletes had some bad chicken from Chartwell’s, leading to most of the players getting food poisoning. “At Oakland, we have The Blacktop. Cleveland almost had The Browntop,” Head Coach Greg Kampe said during the post game press…
ROCHESTER, Mich. — An answer to a question you’ve never asked has been revealed. What does Oakland University’s search history look like? As part of their annual transparency report, University Technology Services (UTS) showcased a record breaking answer. Over 40% of Internet traffic at Oakland University was related to streaming, viewing, and downloading gay pornography….
Every year, the Student Program Board (SPB) pulls out all the stops for its Annual Casino Night. For the first time, SPB will offer the loving, supportive parents you never had as the grand prize. You may have been alone, but if you win big this Saturday you finally have the chance to be cared…
ROCHESTER, Mich. — Many students have been disappointed with the food quality within the Vandenberg and Hillcrest dining halls. OU Eats has spent the time to make things right. After spending $10,000 on research to make their food more appealing, they found a glaring issue: the oven was not plugged in. “Issues with undercooked food…
WORLD WIDE WEB — The Grizzly Tales has now been released for the Oakland University community. They have pledged to be your go to news organization to put a smile on your face. “We want to be a place where students can find the positive in news,” the editor-in-chief said. Many students have already posted…
ROCHESTER, Mich. — Oakland University on Friday, November 21, at 10pm UST (Universal Standard Time) closed to replace “heating pipes”, however, according to anonymous sources in the administration, the reason for this shutdown is to address the guttural screams of lovecrafting horrors emanating from beneath the Oakland Center. One administrator reported “We’ve been trying to…
MALIBU, Calif. — Pop star Miley Cyrus is hoping Oakland University has a change of heart after 15 years. The University allowed Cyrus to use the historic building Meadow Brook Hall for the music video for “Who Owns My Heart”. In the video, Cyrus is shown laying in Matilda Wilson’s bed, dancing on tables, and…
O Pisser! my Pisser! Our fearful whiz is done. The schlong has weather’d every crack, the prize we sought is won, The tort is near, the tinkle I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring; But O Pisser! Piss! Piss! O the bleeding drops of red,…
