ROCHESTER, Mich. — While across the nation print news media has experienced declining readership, on Tuesday February 17th at 3pm in Dodge Hall, Rochester, Michigan, a man was found reading the Oakland Post campus newspaper.
Many question this choice of reading material as nothing of substance has ever been found in the Oakland Post, with current contributors reporting, “Idk why we are here LAMO”.
Many students on campus have been concerned about this man’s wellbeing, feeling that reading the Oakland Post is a cry for help. Sophomore student Andrew Yoink felt “I hope that man is okay, he is exhibiting all the textbook signs of a stroke”. One can hope that this man, whomever he may be, can get the help he needs.

The unwashed masses know not what they read.
mane lol i wish dey reported on dat chicken butt hahaaaaa yeah idl love to see a article on dat yeah hahaaa dat chicjken butt yo id love to see that we lovethat chicje butt mane lol yeah id love that shit maybe uhhhh yeah maybe uhjhhhh yeah maybe dat chicen butt lollll yeah i love that haha
dude are you having those slim chicken sweats that shit nasty man